Extreme Ownership

Chapter 1 – Extreme Ownership

This chapter is probably one of my favorite chapters of the book. For me, this is a huge question to start the self-examining process. We have to ask the questions:

How am I leading?
How am I taking ownership of my decisions?
How am I taking ownership of my actions?
How am I not taking ownership?
How am I afraid to be wrong and then take ownership of it being wrong?
How am I willing to take ownership of my team’s failures?
Am I willing to do that, or am I publicly going to blame them?

And this chapter really helped me realize that the best approach was not to blame others but to take full responsibility for my actions and my team’s actions. If something goes wrong, it’s my fault, not the team’s. If the team makes a mistake, especially in public, I have to take responsibility for that. Then you address the issue with those on your team. You don’t blame the team publicly. I always try to, especially outside of our organization, praise our team members.

There is a great scene in the TV series The Band of Brothers that demonstrates how a leader needs to take ownership of all his actions. In the scene, Lieutenant Dick Winters was driving around with Lieutenant Buck Compton discussing LT. Compton’s gambling with the enlisted men. He tells Buck, “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” He was reminding Buck of his responsibilities as a strong leader. He needs to take ownership of all his actions. I think that is exactly what we need to do with extreme ownership.

In this chapter, four excerpts really stood out to me.

“On any team, in any organization, all responsibility for success and failure rests with the leader. The leader must own everything in his or her world. There is no one else to blame. The leader must acknowledge mistakes and admit failures, take ownership of them, and develop a plan to win.”
“The best leaders don’t just take responsibility for their job. They take Extreme Ownership of everything that impacts their mission.”
“If an individual on the team is not performing at the level required for the team to succeed, the leader must train and mentor that underperformer. But if the underperformer continually fails to meet standards, then a leader who exercises Extreme Ownership must be loyal to the team and the mission above any individual. If underperformers cannot improve, the leader must make the tough call to terminate them and hire others who can get the job done. It is all on the leader.”
“When a bad SEAL leader walked into a debrief and blamed everyone else, that attitude was picked up by subordinates and team members, who then followed suit. They all blamed everyone else, and inevitably the team was ineffective and unable to properly execute a plan.”

Here are a few questions to help you dive deeper into this chapter:

Where am I currently blaming systems, circumstances, or people—and what would it look like to fully own those outcomes instead? (This forces leaders to identify hidden excuses that undermine ownership.)
Who on my team is underperforming, and have I truly trained, mentored, and set clear standards—or have I quietly tolerated the gap? (This separates compassionate leadership from passive avoidance.)
If my team mirrored my attitudes and language exactly, would they take ownership—or would they deflect responsibility the way I sometimes do? (This highlights how leader behavior cascades through culture.)
What hard decision am I delaying “for the sake of harmony” that may actually be harming the mission and the rest of the team? (This tests loyalty to people versus loyalty to purpose.)
After our last failure, did I ask, “Who messed this up?” or “What could I have done better as the leader?”—and what does that reveal about my leadership mindset? (This anchors ownership in real reflection, not theory.)

Be the Hero of Your Story

Links

Overview

Extreme Ownership
Purchase Extreme Ownership
Chpt. 1 – Extreme Ownership
Chpt. 2 – Only Bad Leaders
Chpt. 3 – Believe